Selfish

1

"Dr. Rowe, please call extension 402, Dr. Rowe, Extension 402, Thank you." I awoke with a huge kink in my neck and my arm numb from holding it up in the hospital bed. I looked up at the clock, 7:24 am. I stood up and tried to rub the life back into my arm. I looked down to see my motherís face saturated in a cold sweat. I lightly brushed the hair off her forehead and kissed it gently. " How she looking today, Jenna?" I straightened myself and looked at the doorway to see a familiar face, That friendly dark face that warmly welcomed me every time I arrived at Falmouth Hospital. "Better, She slept the whole night this time." June placed her warm hand on my shoulder. "She hasnít done that in a while, I'll check her vitals, maybe weíll get her home soon after all." I could just feel her smiling at me; I couldnít look at her. It was so hard to know someone else was more excited about her being discharged than I was. "That would be wonderful" I said forcing a smile on my face. She looked at me strangely, she knew something was wrong. She stepped up next to me and put her hand on mine. "You know there is some eggs and toast downstairs, why donít you go and get some food in you honey, before you end up in a hospital bed too! Then where would we be?" I turned and she gave me one of her big hugs, the one she was known all over the hospital for, if you tried to move youíd probably break a bone. I loved those hugs. It brought back the life in me sometimes. "Sheíll be fine honey so donít you worry your pretty little head off. Iíll stay right here till you get back." I couldnít help but laugh a little; she always made me smile. "Thanks June," I looked right at her, "For everything." She had one of her big grins on her face; Iíll never forget June. I walked out of the room to see the usual. The same nurses that new me by name and the same patients. All in for the same reason. I just never imagined my Mom would be apart of this. I never thought she would get Breast Cancer. I walked further down the cool ecliptic corridor to the elevator. I pushed the down button and the gray doors opened with a clank. I stepped inside and the doors shut behind me. I pressed the cafe button and leaned up against the corner of the lonely elevator and watched the buttons glow as they went down floor by floor. Suddenly I felt a vibration on my side. I realized I had put my cell phone on vibrate to keep it from walking up my mom. "Hello?" I said, my voice was horse. "Good Morning sweet pea, How's mum?" "She slept the whole night, June thinks sheíll be home soon, sheís getting checked right now." I heard a sigh of relief from my sisterís voice. I wish I could have seen it. "Good" "howís the boys?" "Better, They miss there Grandmother and Aunt but other than that their alright." The doors to the elevator opened and as soon as I stepped out I was enveloped by the aroma of corn bread and sausages. " I got your schedule; you work today at 3" I looked down at my apparel to see I still had my Stop and Shop shirt on from the day before. "Thanks Sue, Iím gonna go." "Call me when you find out details about Mom... and Jen?" There was a brief pause and I felt the need to be in my sisterís arms. To smell her scent, the scent of security I had smelled all through my childhood. I hadnít had it in years. "I love you." "I love you too, talk to you soon." I gently pressed the end button and put the phone back in my pocket. "Jenna! Whatís shaking?" "Hi George! I smelled your famous corn bread and I couldnít take it anymore, I had to come and eat them all on you!" "Girl you know I made those just for you" I smiled and walked into the kitchen to give my friend a hug. He lifted me up and swung me around. That was our routine. Although it was a hospital I felt like it was a part of me and George, well, he was like a best friend. He stepped back to take a good look at me. "So, do you even go outside girl? Your paler than the flour I put in that corn bread not to long ago." "Outside..." I laughed, "Whereís that?" I smirked as I walked past him to the pan filled with the delicious bread. "Donít you walk away from me when Iím talking to you!" He joked. George came up from behind me and gave me a little push. "Thatís some hot stuff right there so donít even try to eat none of it now." I bent down and inhaled the sweet aroma of the bread. "Alright," I sighed, "But your gonna have to hold me back," I smiled as I walked backward, "Iím pretty hungry!" George grabbed me by my waist and hoisted me out of the kitchen with me laughing hysterically over his shoulder. He set me down right in front of the line of food that seemed to be giving off steam. "Make yourself a plate," George looked at me and I could tell he wanted to laugh at me because of the face I was making at the food that lay before me, "And Iíll bring you some corn bread once its out of the pan." I grabbed a plate and went over to the first pan of food. "French Toast! George you really did it up this time huh!" "Hush up you, or you ainít getting nothin!" I looked up to see Georgeís face staring out a me through the door to the kitchen. I thought he was going to snap his fingers in my face. I stuck my tongue out at him and went back to the food. I put two pieces of the toast on my plate, scrambled eggs, and two strips of bacon. I set it down on a nearby table and went to get some orange juice. "Hey your highness!" I heard Georges voice echoing from the kitchen. "Yes, Peasant!" I could hear him laughing a bit. "How many pieces of corn bread do you desire?" "One thanks." I said as I took a sip of my orange juice. "One! You know your eating more that One!" I smiled; "I eat more than one and youíll have to roll me out of here!" George came out of the kitchen and sat down next to me while putting the bread on my plate. We sat in silence for a moment, then he broke it with the frequently asked question. "Howís your Mom?" "Sheís good might come home soon." He smiled and put his elbow on the table as a resting-place for the side of his head. I cut off a piece of the bread and shoved it into my mouth like it would be the last piece on Earth. "And your not happy about this because?" I wiped my mouth with the harsh napkin and slouched back in my chair. "What gonna happen when Iím at work? Whoís gonna be there to sit with her? I canít stand the thought of her being alone! What am I supposed to do? I canít do this by myself." I tried so hard to hold back the tears that I wouldnít show to anyone but I couldnít help but let a few out. George looked at me with concern as I stared at my plate. He sat up and moved his chair closer to mine. "You know, if you ever need me, Iíll be there in a second." I looked up at his face and saw seriousness in his eyes. I sat up and put my hand on his. "I know." I said quietly. He smiled a little and pushed my plate toward me. "Now eat up girl." He got up and started to walk away. "Oh and bring a corn muffin to June, You know sheíll love you for that!" I smiled at him, "Ok." I finished my toast and ate a little more of my eggs and bacon and scrapped the rest into the trash. I grabbed a muffin for June and I was off.
*In the Hospital Room*

"How you feeling?" I rubbed my motherís cold hand and gazed at her face. "Better, cold but better." I reached for the button on the side of the bed and pressed it. "You'll be warm soon Mom." I said as I kissed her hand. June popped her head in the door, "Yes Sugar?" She said in her concerned southern voice. "Can we get some more blankets please June?" "Sure thing, how are you today Joanna?" Mom lifted her head "feeling good June, feeling good" she said in her weak voice. She was so fragile, so soft. I just wanted to lift her up and hold her. "Thatís what I like to hear" June replied. "Iíll be back." she was gone. "Jenna, itís 2:00 youíd better go get ready for work." "Sure Mom, do you need anything before I go?" I said as I stood up. "Yes, would you mind putting the TV on channel 11, Passions is on," "Sure" I went over to the TV and pressed power. I surfed to channel 11 and turned up the volume. "That good?" I looked over to see my Momís smiling face. "Thatís fine dear." I went to the bed, leaned in and kissed my motherís soft cheek. "I love you," I whispered as I pushed her curly black hair behind her ear. "I love you too, and be careful driving okay?" I smiled and shook my head, "I always am." "Good" she whispered as she adjusted herself to get more comfortable. I stood there and stared at her. So strong hearted but her body couldnít keep up. My eyes glazed over with tears. I forced myself to hold them back and leave the room.

*At Work*

"Tonight is the slowest night ever" I thought to myself as I sat behind my register at work. It was 7 and I had 2 hours to go. No one came in on Friday nights. They Ďre all out enjoying themselves. I looked outside, there was a total of 5 cars in the whole parking lot and Bill was letting everyone go home early except me. Why, I donít know, maybe he just liked to see me suffer. I noticed a light go on and off inside one of the cars. Somebody must be waiting for someone, I thought. I went back to my register and fiddled with the plastic bags. "You open?" A big man about 3 times my size was staring at me. "Yes Sir." "Good cuz I want to go home." Donít we all I thought to myself. I smiled and started scanning the items. When his carriage was empty, another one appeared. "Big family?" I asked the gentleman, "Nope just some hungry friends" He looked at me and tilted his head off to the side. "I never thought Iíd see eyes like that anywhere else." "huh?" I said. I was speechless. "Thereís only one person I know with those color eyes and heís in the car." "Oh" I said. I continued scanning. Iíve heard stranger things so it didnít phase me really. Finally the last item was scanned. "Jenna" I looked up to see Billís face poking through the customer service desk, "will you help the gentleman with his groceries please?" Of course Bill didnít do it, he was too lazy. I was his slave and I had no other choice. "Sure" I sighed as I put the money in the drawer. I followed the man out to his car pushing a cart filled with groceries. He unlocked the back doors and I went on one side and he went on the other. As soon as I started unloading the groceries a stranger hoped out of the front seat. "You want some help with that?" A deep voice seeped through my body and sent chills up my spine. I turned to see the stranger but all I saw was his eyes. They were looking right into mine and I was frozen. I couldnít feel anything but my heart beat. Those emerald eyes. They glistened in the moonlight. They seemed so warm. I dropped a bag and we both went for it knocking heads. "Ouch!" I winced in pain. "Are you ok?" The stranger touched my face and I closed my eyes. Warm, soft yet strong hands tenderly brushed my check and I could feel his eyes looking at me, almost in me. "Yeah, Iím fine, Iím sorry" I said shaking out of my trance. "No donít be, I shouldnít have scared you like that." I picked up the bag and caught his eyes as I turned to put it in the car. While half of my body was in the car a familiar song came on the radio. ~Till the day my life is through, This I promise you~ I stopped and I was so shocked at myself for not seeing it before. It was Lance from Nsync. I had to contain myself. I bit my bottom lip and felt my heart drop into my stomach. I was so stupid I wanted to smack myself. I got back out of the car and turned to see that he was gone. I peeked over the car to see the two men talking amongst themselves. I finished putting the groceries in the car and shut the door. I ran my hand over the smooth metal of the car thinking Iíd never get another chance to do that again. I walked behind the car towards the store. "Hey wait!" I heard that voice, that beautiful voice call out to me. I turned and looked back "You dropped this Jenna." I was shocked, "How did you...?" I stopped mid sentence. I looked down and saw my name tag in the palm of his hand. I looked up and saw his smiling face. I smiled back and blushed a little. "Thanks." "No problem." he said, his eyes burning a hole in my heart. Iíll never forget those eyes. I expected him to walk away but he didnít. I wasnít about to walk away if he wasnít. My eyes wandered around the parking lot and they found the ever so large man by his car. "Lance!," He yelled, "Justinís probably foaming at the mouth waiting for his food lets go!. "Goodbye Jenna, sorry about the bump." He said looking away while scratching the back of his head. "Yeah me too." He smiled and gave a small laugh. He stood in front of me and reminded me of a small child about to ask for a piece of candy. "You doing anything later?" I couldnít believe it! I wanted to say no but I couldnít speak, finally i was able to shake my head no. "What time are you off?" "Nine" "Well Iíll be back, donít leave, promise?" "Ok" my mouth almost dropped and I fought with myself to close it. "Iíll be here." "Alright." I said as I turned to go. Suddenly I felt his hand gently press the side of my arm, "Hey." I turned back around and he wrapped his arms around me. I never felt so safe. And his smell, I couldnít get enough of it. I felt his strong arms slowly slide off of me as we parted. "Iíll be back." He turned and walked away.

2

8:47. Can time go any slower? I stared at the clock from my register willing it to move faster. The place was still dead so I sat on the little ledge holding up the plastic bags and nervously drummed my fingers against the metal of the machine. I saw Bill walk past, stop, and walk back towards me. I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my hair. I wanted to try and prepare myself for the scolding I was about to receive. "Do you want to see my head spin around and pea soup come flying out of my mouth?" He put his hand on the belt and tilted his head to the side. He actually wanted a response? I stood up, took the Windex that was under my register and sprayed the belt so that it just missed his hand. "Whoops!" I said as I gave a wide smile. He just stood there and looked at me for a second and finally walked away. "Clean the registers, please." I wiped off the wet spot from the Windex and looked at the clock, "8:49" I wined to myself. I grabbed the cleaning supplies and ran to the first register. I cleaned it franticly. I brought my elbow back fast and it struck something hard. I yelped in pain. Finally I was at my last register. As I was cleaning I briefly looked at the clock and down to my work again. I jerked my head back up fast. "9:01!" I dropped the bucket and I heard its contents slide across the floor. I bent down and swept all of the items back into the bucket with one swoop of my arm. I jogged past the customer service desk and left the basket there. I ran up the steps with my hand in my purse. I fumbled for my time card, finally my hand found it and I swept it through the time clock. "Punch Accepted" It flashed. I flew down the stairs and ran back past the service desk, but this time I found my friend Bill in my path. "Did you put the cleaning supplies back in the closet?" I turned around and grabbed the bucket from where I left it and dropped it in his arms. "Sorry," I smiled, "Off the clock." I ran past him and into the locker room and found my locker, 19-11-21 I remembered. I yanked the lock but it wouldnít budge. "Damn it!" I yelled to myself. I looked at the clock, 9:07. "Screw it!" I said out loud into the empty locker room and stormed out. I went past produce and I was at the front. I walked out the automatic doors and just stopped. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. He wasnít there. I pulled out my cell phone, 9:12 it read. O.k., maybe heís just running late. Wow, I thought to myself, Iím actually thinking on the positive side! Iíll give him till 9:20. I walked casually and slowly to the bottle room where I sat on the table and watched out the window hoping to see any sign of life. I pulled out a piece of Ice Breakers Gum and slowly let it fold onto my tongue. Finally, I had been waiting to taste that refreshing mint seeing as there was a new rule now, no chewing gum at the front end. "Thanks Bill," I said out loud but only speaking to myself. I waited in that room for what seemed like forever, but in fact it was only eight minutes (To be exact!). I loudly kicked my feet against the side of the table nervously, 9:20 my cell phone read. "Heís not coming" I moaned to myself. He probably realized that Iím just a petty Stop & Shop girl who he knows nothing about and Iíll probably stalk him and ruin his career. I pleaded with him in my head over and over that I just wanted a chance and Iíd never hurt him, Ever! "Please, just show up!" Just then like my prayers were answered a sleek black limousine rolled up along side the curb. I hopped off of my sitting place, slowly ran my fingers through my hair and cautiously walked out the sliding doors. The passenger door opened and out came the body guard who had given me the biggest order of my life, but also the biggest opportunity of my life! I smiled, a little nervous, but handling myself well and continued to walk toward the back of the limousine where he held the door open. This is really happening, I thought to myself and I let my body slide on to the plush leather seats. Not realizing I had closed my eyes I quickly blinked them open and to my surprise saw that I was alone in the limo. Great I thought, I waited twenty minutes for just a limo driver to be late. How long will it be until I get to meet, Prince Charming. Using those words made it sound ten times more fascinating than it already was. My heart fluttered, but this was all soon interrupted by the driver slamming on his breaks. No metal crunching, I guess we were ok. "Sorry." He hollered from the front seat. "No problem." I yelled back. I laughed a little, nervously. We proceeded, hopefully with caution. I didnít want to die minutes from the biggest thing in my life, going on a date with Nsyncs very own Lance Bass. Just then I realized something, I was just about to have my biggest dream come true and I hadnít even called my Mom! I quickly opened my cell phone and dialed the number and extension to her room. "Hello?" My Mothers voice sounded tired and weak. "Hi Mom, Itís me, I have the best news. Iím going on a date with Lance Bass." There was a brief pause. "What? Get out a hea, seriously?" "I can hardly believe it myself." "Alright Jenna! I knew youíd get your chance, see what God does?" I closed my eyes. She sounded so happy I thought sheíd cry, but at the same time I thought Iíd cry too. I had all of these mixed emotions, this should be the happiest day of my life, but then again it wouldíve been so much better had my Mom been better and at home to watch me get all prettied up to attend this date. I didnít get a chance to do either, see my Mom or even get prettied up. Hey If he likes me in a Stop & Shop shirt heíll think Iím a goddess in a sweater! I smiled and wiped a tear from my eye. "Well, Iíll be there first thing in the morning, I love you forever." I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead. "Donít you cry baby, Iíll be fine, I love you always." I gave a half smile and gazed down at my feet. "Goodnight Ma," "Goodnight." I shut off my cell phone and put it in my purse. I noticed I had some lip gloss and a mirror inside so I took them out, zipped my purse and opened my mirror. George is right, I thought to myself, whiter than flour. I twisted open the tube of lip gloss and applied it to my lips. I rubbed them together and in no time I had a shiny glaze over them. I inspected the rest of my face and shut my mirror. I put the items back in my purse and then rested up against the beautiful leather. It had been a while since I felt something so soft and comfortable against my body. I missed my bed, I longed for my comforter and the way it surrounded my body like a curtain of feathers. I could have fell asleep right there. The limo stopped in front of a beautiful hotel. I never even thought we had hotels like this in Falmouth. I opened my door, forgetting about the man who was supposed to do it for me. I smiled at myself as I met the man half way. "Sorry, Iím really not used to this." The guy looked at me blank in the face and gave a huge belly laugh, just like Santa Clause. "Oh its alright, I really donít mind. If you ask me? I think you and Lance will get along just fine. He never lets me open the door for him either." I grinned as I pushed some of my hair behind my ear. I was so embarrassed. Here I was walking into a fancy hotel and I was wearing a Stop & Shop shirt and a name tag. I quickly unhooked it and stuffed it in my purse. I went in through the revolving door and I felt a lump form in my throat. I felt like Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman" with the way I was dressed. I felt like everyone was looking at me. Someone tapped on my shoulder, I turned and all I saw was a big chest. As I looked up, I saw the man who gave me the ever so long order. I never felt so small before. He motioned for me to follow him and I did as I was told. I didnít want to be alone. We walked past the lobby and some sort of small store. We finally reached a beautiful elevator. He pressed a button with his oversized finger and we waited for the doors to open. When they did I waited for him to enter but he didnít. So I waited some more until I felt his eyes glaring at me. "Ladies first." I wanted to salute and say ĎYes Sir!í but instead I stepped inside trying with every bit of strength I had to hold back my laughter. He came in after me and I heard the whole elevator creek. I kept my eyes glued to the floor as it started to move. I just prayed to every available higher source that it wouldnít stall or break. I just had to get off that elevator! ĎDINGí The doors opened and I stepped out first, he didnít have to tell me twice I chuckled to myself. "Room 203" I looked up again to see his stern face staring at me. "Thanks." I said while adjusting the strap of my purse over my shoulder and walked down the hallway. I knew he was looking at me, I could feel it. I wanted to run but I walked down the hallway. "Just be cool," I whispered to myself.

3

I looked up at what seemed to be an endless array of door numbers. ~201~, ~202~, I took a deep breath. ~203~. I stood in front of the door afraid to touch it. I bid my bottom lip and lifted my arm to knock, but I noticed it was slightly ajar. I looked back to see my large escort was gone. I wished someone was there to hold my hand. I didnít think I could do it. This is stupid, its just a guy Jenna, I tried to assure myself. Finally I did it. No one answered. I poked my head inside and looked around, no one was to be seen. All of the sudden I heard what seemed to be footsteps and yanked my head back out the door. With a jittery hand I knocked again. I saw the door knob move and my heart skipped a beat. It swung open and a unfamiliar face stood in front of me. "Hi Iím.." "I know who you are, Jenna right?" I was kind of scared but I brushed it off. I nodded. "Come on in." I followed him up a set of stairs and he led me to yet another door, this time Iím glad he knocked. "Lance, Cinderella has arrived." The door opened and there he was. Those beautiful eyes that were embedded in my mind all night were once again staring right into mine. I smiled and he smiled back. It was like watching the sun rise. "Hi, come in." He opened the door more and I walked inside. I looked around. Right in front of me was a big bed with red sheets and pillows. To the right of me was two black leather recliners and a love seat to match. In the center was a jet black marble coffee table. Place in the middle were two white gold nineteenth century candle holders holding up two sleek, dark red aroma therapy candles. Usually I wouldnít know but the exotic fragrance stimulated my senses. I inhaled deeply once more breaking free from my trance. I turned to see Mr. Bass in a black Armani suit with a matching undershirt and tie. I looked down at myself and I wanted to crawl in a corner and die. "I think Iím a little under dressed." He laughed a little and offered me a seat. I gratefully took it. That days events had me in a blur. "So are you hungry?" His eyes anticipating. My stomach growled at the thought of food. I hadnít eaten since this morning with George. "Iím starving but," I looked down at my shirt and looked back up at him. "But what?" He was actually clueless to the fact that I was very underdressed. "Look at me, Iím a mess!" He looked at me and in a most serious tone stated "No. Your not. Your perfect, lets go." He outstretched his hand and I took it. When I stood up he was about to walk out the door with me trailing behind when I tapped on his shoulder. He stopped and turned toward me. "I donít think theyíll let me in." "What?" He was so cute. "You in Armani and me in a grocery store shirt, what will they think?" "I donít care," he smiled, " I just want to be with you." I sat down on his bed and looked out the door that led out to the balcony. "I do.." I said while tugging on my shirt. He came and sat next to me. He rested his elbows on his knees and took a deep breath. "Can I be honest with you?" I looked over at him and gave him a nod. "I really donít care where we go or what we do because all I know is I just want to get to know you better. I mean even though its just been three hours I missed looking into your eyes. This may seem weird but when I looked into your eyes in that parking lot I felt like I really saw you, I mean like inside you. Iíve never felt that way before." I felt like he could read my mind. I didnít want to say I felt exactly the same way because I didnít want to sound like a girl that didnít have her own opinion. "Really?" I said looking back up at him. "Yeah, I mean, Iím not very forward, at all. But I knew that if I didnít ask you to come back here tonight Iíd hate myself cuzí I canít get you out of my mind." He looked downward, shocked at himself for letting that all out almost in one breath. "That didnít make a lot of sense did it?" I couldnít take my eyes off of him. I knew that he was just as confused as I was, but in the middle of it all I knew that there was some sense, there had to be. I put my hand over his. He turned and looked at me. I scanned my eyes over his face but they always found those emerald eyes. "I know what you mean." I smiled. In that instant I saw a sigh of relief come over his face. "Really?" "Yeah." I said. He just sat there and smiled at me for a minute. "Hang on, I got an idea." He got up and walked over to his burrow, opened a draw and pulled out some clothes. "Iíll be right back." He walked into his bathroom and closed the door. I took a deep breath and tried to process my thoughts. I looked down at my hands. They were sweaty. I wiped them on my jeans and looked around. I needed some fresh air. I walked out the door, on to the balcony and put my elbows on the rail. The cool breeze blew my hair around my face as I in hailed the fresh air. I looked up to see the sky that was filled with stars. They glistened and sparkled like they were laughing at each other. I smiled and gazed at the lights of the town that were below me. They were amazing. I felt like I was in a movie. I heard the door slide open and shut from behind me. "Can I join you?" I closed my eyes. His voice seeped through me and I got chill bumps all over my body. He leaned on the balcony and stared at me. I could smell him and it made my heart spin. "Its beautiful out here." I said as my hair blew lightly in the wind. He wouldnít take his eyes off of me. Not knowing what to say I just smiled, "What?". "Iím sorry I canít help it, Your so beautiful." I blushed. I couldnít help it. He moved closer to me. I could feel his eyes move from my face to my neck to my arms and all the way to my finger tips. "You cold?" I looked down at my arm to see I still had chill bumps. "Kind of" I grinned. I looked him over. He had red plaid drawstring pants and a white tee-shirt. "Can I?" he reached out to touch me. I nodded and moved closer to him. I felt his warm hand gently glide across my for-arm and go to my hand. Our fingers interlocked, he stood up straight and pulled me into him. I rested the back of my head on his chest while he held me in his arms. I felt so safe, no one could hurt me. He placed his lips on my head and my whole body tingled. "Your hair smells really nice." I gave a wide grin and looked up at the moon. He put his forehead on my shoulder and I leaned my cheek on the side of his head. I wished I could take this moment and put it in a jar and keep it with me always. "You smell nice too." He looked up and put his face against mine. He squeezed my body and I wanted to turn around and kiss him but I didnít want to get to carried away. "You still hungry?" He whispered in my ear. "yeah," I placed my hand on his a smoothed my fingers over his knuckles. "Come on," He said holding my hand. I turned and followed him in the door. He went over to his bed stand, grabbed the menu out of the top draw, and handed it to me. "If we canít go to the food, the food will come to us." he said. "I like that idea." He grinned. I read the menu and decided on Fettuccini Alfredo and he ordered Shrimp Scampi. "You want to watch a movie?" he asked while putting the phone down. "Yeah that would be good, canít do that at a restaurant." He looked over at me from where he was in front of the movie cabinet. "Your so cute!" I grinned at him, "Am I?" "I just want to go over there and grab you and never let you go!" I smiled at him, "I have no problem with that but pick a movie out first." He laughed and grabbed a movie. He got up and put it in the VCR and got on his bed and leaned up against the back board. I was still at the edge of the bed. "Ahem," I turned, "Would you come and sit next to me?" I took off my shoes and put them by the bed scooted up beside him. He put his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder. "Final Destination, good choice!" "Thanks, I love this movie," He said snuggling up closer to me. My legs were crossed and my left hand rested in my lap. He picked it up and smoothed his thump over my fingers. I looked up at his gorgeous face. The way his hair sort of fell over his forehead and his nose was perfect, even his lips, the way they were shaped and how they were so moist and tender. I took a deep breath and went back to the film. He turned his head towards me, "Something wrong?" I lifted my head, "Hmm? No, nothings wrong." He didnít turn his face and I got lost in his eyes. All I could hear was my heart beat. I closed my eyes and I could feel his face come closer to mine. His lips were about to touch mine, but there was a knock at the door. We both jumped away from each other. "Lance." I bit on my bottom lip and looked up to see a very disappointed Lance. "You should probably get that huh?" I sighed. He got up and answered the door. "Your foods downstairs." "Thanks" He said as he shut the door. He came and sat down next to me. "I can tell him to put it in the fridge if you want?" He said putting his hand on my knee. "Hmm, cold Fettuccini, sounds tempting." I put my hand on top of his. "Ya know, It could actually be kind of good." He moved in closer. My stomach growled. I giggled. "Hang on a sec." He laid me down on the bed and pressed his ear against my stomach. "Uh huh, I see. But, you donít understand, I donít want her to leave here right now!" I laughed almost uncontrollably as he talked to my midriff. "You donít understand," He continued, "I was this close!" He looked up at me. "You know, your stomach isnít to happy with me right now." I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "Really?, cuz it was just telling me a second ago that it wanted nothing more that your arms around it." "Is that so." He said looking at my stomach. He pressed his ear against it again and looked up at me, "It said thats because I ordered it fettuccini." "Well," I sighed, "We canít have it be upset now can we?" He sat up and grabbed my hands. "Nope, I just donít think that would be right. I mean, I got to make a good impression." I couldnít hold it in any longer, I laughed so hard, which is something I hadnít done in a while. We walked down the stairs. When I reached the last step I thought I was going to fall over at the sight that lay before me. The table was set beautifully with candles and china. He offered me his arm and I took it. He led me to the table and pulled out the chair, "Madam," I placed myself gracefully on the chair. "Thank you good sir!" He said on the opposite side of the table. "Something isnít right." He said as we both leaned over to see each other because of the candles and such in the middle of the table. With that he picked up his chair and placed it next to mine. He took his seat and sighed, "Much better." I just looked at him and held in my laughter. Just being next to him made me feel so light. My problems seemed nonexistent. It felt so good to have someone just look at me and want to be near me. Iíve never had that before. His face glowed in the candle light. I couldnít handle it anymore. I lifted my hand and lightly brushed his cheek. He looked at me and in silence he leaned over and placed his soft lips on mine. I welcomed them and soon my bottom lip was embraced in both of his. Suddenly his tongue found mine and I felt tingles in my pelvis. I placed my hand on his neck and opened my mouth a little more. I felt like we were in the air. When our lips separated I looked into his beautiful eyes and I knew it. I was falling, and falling hard. four I awoke to a bright ray of sun piercing my eyelids. I slowly turned my head to avoid blinding myself. As I opened my eyes I noticed the amazing porcelain clock and realized I was not at home. I was in a world of confusion noticing that the clock read 8:03 a.m. and I had promised Mom id be there at 7:00 a.m. At the same time I was almost ecstatic remembering that I had stayed with Lance all night, in the same bed! Although nothing happened it was something to remember. And just the thought that all I had to do was roll over and there heíd be, that beautiful face. Oh, how much I wanted to turn my body and lay so close to him. Wait a minute, who am I kidding? With this breath! Not to mention my hair I can just imagine how it looks. I slowly turned to my side and lifted my body so i could peer in the mirror on the backboard. Oh no! Iím definitely not waking him up! My under eyes were smeared with dark eyeliner which made me look like a raccoon twin and of course my hair! Lets just say that Iím sure Bozo the Clown had seen better days. All I could think about at this point was how to remove myself from this bed without disturbing him and how to avoid letting this garlic Mardi Gras aroma escape from my tongue. It was awful, but I managed. I sat up with such ease, I thought I was floating and I almost wanted to give myself a standing ovation and a pat on the back for the gracefulness I undertook in getting off the bed. As my feet hit the floor I felt my toes seep into the thick carpet. I walked over to the side of the bed and put on my shoes, "quiet as a mouse." I repeated in my head. I heard him groan a little and turn over. I stopped and couldnít even breathe, not like I wanted to if I could! Thankfully he didnít wake up. I make my way for the door and out I slipped. I tip toed down the stairs, noticing that no one else appeared to be awake and I vanished out the door. In the hallway I began to reflect on the previous night and butterflies filled my stomach. Iíve never felt this way I thought, please donít let it end. I walked past the other doors and found the elevator. I pressed the down button and the doors opened. I stepped inside. There was so many buttons I had to pause and try to find the right one. I finally found it and the elevator slowly glided downward. It was nothing like the harsh ride at the hospital. When the doors opened I walked past the lobby and out the front door. "Oh no" I said out loud. I forgot my car was at Stop and Shop. What was I going to do? I quickly opened my cell phone and searched the index for someone to call. George!! Well he said if I ever needed anything. I pressed the send button and brought the phone to my ear. "Hello?" "George!" "Whatís shaking Jenna?" "Oh, you wont believe the night Iíve had! I need you to come pick me up." My body was shaking a little, I didnít know if it was because of the nights previous events or because it was cold and I had no jacket, I figured it was both. "Where you at?" "The Sea Crest" "The Sea Crest! What are you doing at the Sea Crest!?" I smiled, he was so loud, I thought it was hilarious. "Iíll explain where you get here, just hurry." "You better have some gas money, this ainít no taxi," I laughed into the phone, "Will you just hurry, please!" "Be there in a few." I closed my cell phone and put it in my purse.
In The Car
"So you met some guy and in one night you sleep with him! I knew you were bad but I didnít think you were that bad!" I wanted to pull my hair out. I told him 10 million times I didnít sleep with him and he wouldnít believe me. "Do I have to write it down for you I - DID - NOT - SLEEP - WITH - HIM!" "WHAT?!?" George turned up the radio, "I CANíT HEAR YOU!" I turned off the radio and stared out the window. "Alright so you didnít sleep with him." "Thank You!" I sighed. "So you meet this, this Lance guy, he sweeps you off your feet and you fall in love." " I know it doesnít seem real." I looked at him and I knew he wanted to laugh. "So whatís so wrong with that?" "It wonít last I know it." He switched gears and looked over at me briefly. "Jenna you gotta think like, the glass is half full." "Well keep laughing George because soon heís going to find out Iím not the girl of his dreams. Soon heíll realize that Iím not perfect like he thinks and when he does heíll run away like everyone else." "Why do you say that?" "Because it wouldnít look good for him. Lance Bass dates poor little girl with a run away Dad and dieing Mom, Oh yeah the press will love that!" "Jen-" "You know what I donít want to talk about it alright!" I turned the radio and went back to looking out the window. once he finds out it will be all over, I was sure of it. What am I going to do. I canít tell him, I canít lie to him either. Plus, I couldnít believe what I had just done to George. It wasnít his fault. I was going crazy. I put my hand on his. "Iím sorry George, Iím just so confused." He didnít turn he just kept looking at the open road that led before us. "I know it doesnít make it right but Iím sorry, I love you! Your all I have right now, please forgive me." He put his arm around my shoulders and shook me a little. "Its ok" He laughed. It made me feel a little better, but not alot.
With Lance
Lance yawned and reached his arm over the bed. He moved it up and down but didnít feel anything. He got up with a start. Maybe sheís just in the bathroom. He go up and knocked on the bathroom door. "Jenna?" He didnít hear any response. He opened the door and the room was empty. He stood in thought and looked around. She didnít even leave a note? Thoughts raced thought his head and he tried but couldnít think of any explanation. He laid back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He rolled over to where she was sleeping and buried his face in her pillow. He could smell her scent and it made his body fill with warmth. He knew he had to find her, but how? He picked up the phone and dialed a 3 digit ext. "Hey Chris, its me. Feel like going to Stop and Shop?"
At The Hospital
"Hey sugar!" "Hey June, is Mom awake?" I walked quickly over to June and gave her a small hug. "Yes, but" "But what?" I searched for answers in her eyes but I couldnít find any. "Sheís real sick honey." I ran into the room and grabbed my Mothers hand. "Mom?" She still didnít move. I started crying, no not crying, sobbing. I dropped to the floor. The door flew open and there stood George. "I donít understand she was fine yesterday, she was fine!" I screamed through my tears. George walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my head into his chest. I heard the door open again and I lifted my head. "Jenna?" Dr. Rowe stood in front of me with his clip board in his hands. "What happened to my Mom?" "Would you like to take a walk with me?" I looked up at George, I saw he was crying too. I wiped a tear from his eye. "Iíll be right back," I whispered, "Will you wait here for me?" He shook his head yes. I grabbed a fist full of tissues by my Moms beside and walked out the door that Dr. Rowe was holding open for me. "Itís a reaction to the new medication we gave her. Its stronger than the old one. We thought that t would speed up her recovery but her body couldnít handle it. Sheís in a state of shock." I stopped walking and turned to face him. "What do you mean state of shock?" He took a deep breath. "Do you want to sit down?" I got angry. "No I donít want to sit down. I want you to tell me what you did to my Mother!" "Iím sorry Jenna, your Mother is in a coma." I couldntí move. I couldnít breath. I gasped for breath but couldnít find it. "Jenna?" "Jenna?" The room went black.
With Lance
Lance walked up to the Customer Service desk and put his arm on the counter. "Can I help you?" Bill asked in his lisp. "Yeah hi, is Jenna here?" Bills face went blank. "Jenna. No sheís not here, she isnt working tonight." "Oh." Lance pulled his arm of the desk and turned to Chris. " I got this covered man." Chris stepped up. "Hi, my friend and I need to find Jenna right away, its very important." "Sorry," Bill smiled, "Weíre not aloud to give out personal information about our workers. Have a nice day." He turned and walked into the back room. "Well, that went well." Lance laughed at Chris. "You looking for Jenna?" They both turned around to see a short tan girl with curly hair. "Yeah" Lance spoke up with excitement in his voice. "Iím her cousin Tina, who are you?" "Iím Lance and this is my friend Chris." "What a second, I know you, Your!" Tina stopped herself. "Sheís at Falmouth Hospital" "The hospital! Is she ok?!" Lance felt a lump form in his throat. "Yeah, just go and ask for her theyíll take you to her." With out another word Lance ran out the door. "Dude wait up." Chris yelled from behind. "Hey! Tell her I said hi!"
At The Hospital
"Jenna? Sweetheart? Can you hear me?" I opened my eyes and Lances face was an inch from mine hallowed in a bright white light. I leaned my body up on my elbows and looked around a little but it was all a blur. "Am I in heaven?" I heard a laugh and was shaken back into reality when I looked over at George. Lance wrapped his arms around me and lifted me ino him. "I was so scared." He whispered into my neck. He was breathing so hard moisture started to from on the crook of my neck. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms tighter around him. If this was heaven was like, I wish I was dead. "You canít get rid of me that easy." I patted his back. I could feel the smile form on his face. He pecked my neck hard and make his way up to my mouth. When he moved away I saw his eyes were welled up with tears. I caressed his cheek with my hand just like the night before. He moved his face so that my finger tips were on his moist lips. I smoothed them over his bottom lip and he opened them a little to kiss my fingers. I pulled my hand back and his mouth followed until I lured them to my lips which yearned for his. His hands went sifting into my thick hear and fingers massaged my head. "Remember me?" I turned my head and Lances lips went directly to my check. "George!" Lances mouth separated from my face and he helped me sit up. George came over to my bedside and he gave me a hard hug. "You had me scared girl!" "Iím sorry I scare you two." I said while rubbing my friends back. "You scared me too!" I let go of George and looked behind Lance. "Hi, Iím Chris." "He stood up from his chair, walked over and opened his arms. " I get a hug too right!?" I looked over at Lance, he shrugged his shoulders. "Sure." I opened my arms and he gave me a big bear hug. "I was so worried!" He faked a sob and shook me from left to right. When we parted Lance sat behind me in the bed and hoisted one leg up. I leaned into him so I was propped up between his legs and he rested his arms around my waist. "How you feeling?" Chris asked. "A little tired, but Iím fine." He looked over at Lance. "Well you sure picked a smart girl, fainting in a hospital is pretty convenient." I looked over at George. "Baby, why were you in here to begin with?" Lance asked while kissing the side of my head. "George, you didnít tell them?" "I thought it would be better coming from you." I bit my bottom lip and he shook his head urging me to give an answer. "I ah, my ah." My body tensed up and Lance could feel it. "You know, it doesnít matter, as long as your ok." I took a deep breath, I was so relieved. I looked back at George. I knew he was disappointed. The way he was staring at me made me almost break a sweat. "Hey do you know where I could get a soda?" Chris asked. I looked at him and immediately knew where this conversation was going. "I can show you." George stood up and I glared at him. "Weíll be right back." George smiled. I gave a smile back but it was defiantly a sarcastic one. They walked out the door and shut it tightly behind them. I didnít want to move or turn around. "So what happened to you this morning?" Lance asked bringing his hands down my shoulders and arms. I turned around and crossed my legs Indian style. "I have to tell you something." "Ok" he sat up and put his hands over mine. "The reason I left so early this morning and the reason Iím here now is because I had to be with my Mom." "Oh!" Lance said with a sigh of relief. "I thought that you had a boyfriend or something, you scared me. So does your Mom work here or something." I looked down at my hands. "No." He went quiet. "Is she sick?" He put his hand on my check, past my ear, and ran his fingers through my hair. "You could say that." I whispered with my eyes still downcast. "Lance, my Mom has Breast Cancer." The words just came spilling out of my mouth. My eyes welled with tears. "Lance?" He still didnít speak. "He moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. I cried. "Baby, Iím so sorry." He gently pushed my head up and I couldnít open my eyes. He kissed my salty lips and I put my hand on his neck and kissed him back.

5

********
"Do you want to come in?" I said as we pulled into my driveway. "Are you sure?" "Positive." He followed me up the graveled path to my front door and walked inside. "Nice place" he said hugging me from behind. "I havenít been here in a while" I said putting my hand on his. I turned the light in the living room on and put my purse on the coffee table. "Would you like a drink?" "Sure." He said as he took his jacket off and put it on the couch. I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. "We got water, Dr. Pepper, Sprite, Milk..." I called out. "Dr. Pepper please?" He called back while getting comfortable on the couch. I went over to the cabinet and pulled out two glasses. I poured the Dr. Pepper and then put it back into the fridge. I took the glasses off the counter and brought them into the living room. I set them on the coffee table and got comfy next to Lance. As soon as I sat his arm went directly over my shoulders and I felt like I was at the movies. I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. I flipped thorugh the channels and we both decided on Scream III. "Somethings not right." he said taking a sip of his drink. "What do you mean?" "Hang on a quick second." He got up and switched off all the lights. "Gotta get the full effect." he said walking back to the couch. "Of course." I smiled. He sat back down and his arm wrapped around my back as I snuggled next to him. "You comfortable?" I asked "Yeah" he sort of yawned back. "Can I make a suggestion?" I asked as my face was being illuminated by the television. "Sure can." I gently pushed him back so that he was laying down. I started untying his shoes and slowly slid them off his feet. I watched him look at me with wondering eyes as I took off my shoes and proceeded to lay next to him with my head on his chest and my arms around his waist. Our legs interlocked as he moved his hand up and down my back with his other hand behind his head. "Much better." I said softly into his chest. "Id have to agree." He said back. My head moved with his chest as he breathed softly. I heard his heart beat and I so badly wanted to know what he was thinking. What was in his heart. I inhaled his sent and it shot tingles though out my body. I snuggled closer and I could feel his body heat. I rubbed the side of my face against his chest and continued to watch the movie. I felt his finger start to move around my back making turns and shapes like he was drawing on me. Then he started to rub his hand slowly over my back, Oh please donít stop I thought to myself. Suddenly his hand found its way up the back of my shirt and on to my skin. He continued to rub my back and I started to rub my thumb over his stomach. He let his hand rest there and I sighed. "Something wrong?" He looked down at me. "Nothing what so ever." He let out a small laugh and continued to watch the movie.

***********
"Jenna? Jenna?" I opened my eyes and looked up to see Lance. "You fell asleep, should I go?" I got up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I went to the dining room to look at the clock. 3:04 a.m. I went back into the room to see Lance standing up reaching for his jacket. "Lance, can I ask you a favor?" "Anything," he said while slipping an arm in his jacket. "I left my car at Stop and Shop and I have no way to get around so would you mind spending the night so I could get a ride with you to the beach tomorrow?" "Are you sure, cuz I could just pick you up in the morning?" "Well I figured it would be better if you stayed cuz It is late and I wouldnít want you to fall asleep at the wheel." "Hunny Iíll be fine Iím used to no sleep." "Lance," He stopped from his position at the door and turned to look at me. I crossed my arms over my stomach and looked downcast. "I donít want to be alone tonight." Right then he took off his jacket and put it back on the couch. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Thatís all you had to say."

6


"Hey, sleepyhead, wake up." Lance was tenderly tracing my jaw line with his index finger. It was so nice to wake up to someone so beautiful. I turned over and wrapped my arms around him. "Nope, we can't get up." I grinned as he put his arms around my waist. "Why not?" "Because I don't want to let you go yet." I said as he pressed his forehead against mine. "We could stay here forever, but then we wouldn't be able to see our friends or family.." "Shhhh." I pressed my finger against his lips." Don't say that. Lets pretend that we can stay here forever and nothing could go wrong ok?" "Ok" I closed my eyes and turned over. Lance smoothed his hands over my stomach and pulled me closer to him. I really wish we could have just stayed there but of course the moment couldn't last. "Baby?" "Hmm?" I turned to face him. "You want me to call the guys and tell them that we're not going?" "Naww, we'll go." "Are you sure?" He asked kissing my cheek. "Not if you keep doing that." He kissed me again and felt his hand slowly drift to my side of my waist. "Lance, what are you doing?" "I have no idea what your talking about." he answered innocently while digging his fingers into my side. Laughter filled the room. "Stop!!! Lance please!" "Do you give up?" "On what?" I laughed as he went for my hip again "I don't know, just, do you??" "Yes!" I said dogging his hand "Yes I give, I GIVE!" He sighed, "I guess I can let you go." I got out of the bed and went over to the burrow. I opened the draw and pulled out my Nautica bathing suit and put it on the bottom of the bed. "Where did you get those? I'm gonna have to go buy myself a pair." He said tugging on my Taz boxer shorts. "Ha, Ha, very funny." I said walking into the hallway. I continued down the hallway and into the kitchen. "Hey you hungry?" "No, but I could use a cup of coffee." He said walking into the kitchen. I leaned against the counter and propped myself up on my Tipp toes to reach the shelf with the coffee mugs. "Aww, shorty." he said poking both of my sides. I turned to face him, "You just love picking on me don't you." We both smiled as he came closer and wrapped his arms around me. "No, your just so damn cute." He said while kissing my nose. I smiled while pouring his coffee and gave it to him. "Just because I look better in Taz boxers than you do doesn't mean that you can make fun of me!" I joked sitting down at the dining room table. I used the other chair as a resting place for my feet but they didn't rest long. Lance picked up my feet, sat down, and rested my legs on his lap. He massaged my feet and I couldn't help but feel as though I was dreaming. "You spoil me rotten." I laughed at him. "Oh, this?" He asked pointing to my feet. "Baby, you aint seen nothing yet."

At the beach
The sun beat down on my body as I walked down the shore line of the beach. Just the pleasure of the water grazing over my feet made me appreciate lifes little wonders a lot more. I walked to our secluded spot on the beach and I unfolded my towel. I laid down and closed my eyes. The sound of the waves meeting the shoreline was music to my peaceful soul. Although it was hot, the occasional cool breeze complemented the setting and made e feel as though I was drifting in the air. I loved the beach. "This is no time to sleep!" Chris sat on my towel. I looked up at him through my sunglasses. "Why not?" "Because!" He exclaimed, "You should be playing Frisbee with me!" I sat up "And why is that?" "Because you love me so much!" I cocked my eyebrow, "Really? How can you be so sure?" He grinned at me and stood up. "Because I'm Chris, and its a rule!" I groaned. I dusted some of the sand off of my legs while slowly standing up. I looked at his questioning face and for a second, I actually enjoyed his eagerness. "Far be it for me to break any rules." He smiled while grabbing the Frisbee, "That's what I thought!" "I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you Christopher!" He pulled his hand to his chest and a look of shock and innocence swept over his face. "Me! Never!" "Give me that!" I grabbed the yellow Frisbee from his grasp and continued to walk further away from his so that we were a good distance apart. "Ready?" I yelled to him from my spot. "Let her rip!" he yelled while flailing his arms up and down. I curved my arm and softly flung the Frisbee into the direction of Chris. It glided through the air like a dove in flight and he caught it with ease. "Nice throw!" "Nice catch!" I said putting my sunglasses on the top of my head to serve as a headband to my long hair. Chris then through the Frisbee back but it didnít glide so easily. It went wildly high in the air but was low enough so I could jump up and grab it in time before it went crashing into the people behind me. "Who said white women canít jump?!" Chris laughed at himself for saying such a cute comment. You couldnít help but laugh at Chris. Even if what he said wasnít very funny, just his facial expressions sent you in wild spurts of laughter. Which was hardly the case, in my opinion, everything he said was hilarious. "Iím gonna miss this so much." Chris said looking out at the ocean. "What do you mean?" I said pulling the stands of hair off my face that had moved by the wind. Chris walked up to me and sat down on the sand next to my feet. He motioned for me to sit next to him and I did. I positioned my knees under my chin and wrapped my arms around my legs. "The ocean, there's no ocean in Arizona." My heart dropped. "Whatís in Arizona?" All of the reality that I had lost in the week before came flooding back. Here I was at the beach with the biggest pop group known to man playing on a beach? In Falmouth no less. Why were they here? Arnít they on tour? How did this happen? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had fallen in love and that love would be leaving, leaving for Arizona. In that moment I felt like I had set my self up for a fall, again. "We have to leave in a few days for our next concert." A lump formed in my throat and I fought hard to control the tears forming in my eyes. "Why were you here anyway?" "What do you mean?" "What brought you guys here?" "Well we had two concerts in Foxboro and the Seacrest got us to sing for their benefit for Heart Diseases. So we ended up with a small vacation." I nodded my head and looked away from Chris. I knew this was too good to be true. It would never work. At that second my heart shattered into a million pieces and seemed to find their way to the pit of my stomach. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I slowly exhaled and felt wind run over my body. Chills shot through my spine and I tightened the grasp around my legs. Two soft hands glazed over my shoulders. The wind blew my hair and it tickled my neck. I didnít want to open my eyes. "Hey, I miss you." I pushed myself to open my eyes. "Lance its been two minutes and your on the same beach." "I know," He kissed the top of my head, "two minutes too long." I brought my hand behind my neck, bringing all of my hair to rest on my left shoulder. "Hey guys." Justin came over to us. "You guys up for some swimming?" "Yeah!" I said standing up fast. I just had to get out of that situation. I wanted to forget my conversation with Chris, I wanted to forget that they were Nsync. "I guess weíre in too." Lance said standing up behind me. "Lets go guys!" Joey screamed from his place in the water. "Yeah lets go." I said taking my sunglasses off my head and letting them fall onto the towel I was previously laying on.

Later At The Hospital

"Will you come and visit us every day?" June asked. "Girl you know I will!" I said while brushing the hair off of her shoulder. "Iím so happy that your Mom is well enough to go home but Iíll miss you both here." I hugged June and rubbed her back slowly. I was so used to seeing her everyday. Now it would be a month before I saw her again. "Your always welcome at our house, you know that." I said parting from our hug. "Donít tell her that, sheíll move in!" George walked up from behind June and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. "Hush up you!" June said giving him a playful nudge. "Your leaving now huh?" George asked. "Yeah." He walked over to me and gave me his brotherly embrace he always gave me. "But now that Iím leaving you can come and cook me breakfast at my house." "He does that and Iím defiantly moving in!" June said from behind us. We all laughed a little. "Well hello Miss Jenna." Dr. Rowe said coming up from behind. I turned to face him. "Hello Dr. Rowe, How are you?" "Fine, thanks for asking." He smiled. "Well, hereís her prescriptions. I explained everything to her too. Plenty of rest for the first few weeks but sheíll be up on her feet and back to normal in no time." "Alright." I said taking th papers from his hands. "Iíll see you in a month." He said outstretching his hand. I took it. "Thanks, for everything." "Your an amazing girl Jenna." "Well, I have amazing friends." He grinned and shook his head. "You certainly do."

In The Car

"Can you go a little faster ?" My Mother was so eager to get home. "Almost there." I said putting my left directional on. It felt so good to be going home. And now that my Mother was in the seat next to me, it made me feel like it was actually home I was going to. I pulled in the driveway and shut off the car. "Are you ready?" I looked over at my Mother. "More than ever." I got out of the car and shut the door. I ran behind the car and opened the passenger side for her. I slowly helped her out of the car and held her hand all the way to the door. "Someone must have forgotten to shut the door." She said in her Motherly tone. I just smiled and opened the door the rest of the way. "SURPRISE!" everyone yelled. "Oh MY!" My Mothers face glew as her grandson flew into her arms. "Nona! I missed you!" "I missed you too darling!" "Mom!" "Susan" "Oh Ma! I missed you!" Watching my Sister and Mother reunite was a beautiful thing. "Mum," I whispered in her ear, "Iíll be right back." I walked into the dining room and grabbed a soda. I looked around. The whole family was there laughing and smiling. It gave me such a warm feeling inside to know how much love our family held for each other. "Jenna, you have company!" My Sister shouted from the front door. My heart drowned at the sight of Lance walking into the living room. Just like my life. Could he walk out of it as easily as he walked in? I put the soda can down and rubbed the moisture from the can that accumulated on my hand on my jeans. "Hey beautiful." "Hey." I said while wrapping my arms around his neck. His skin was so soft, I though as he smoothed his cheek against mine. "Miss me?" he whispered. "A lot." I finished. "What wrong?" He asked as we parted. How did he know me so well so fast? "Nothing" I looked down cast. "Nothing at all, IĎm glad your here." I said mustering up the courage to look into his eyes again. "Are you sure?" He put his hand to my face and I grinned. "Iím just tired I guess." "Yeah, all this excitement could do that to ya huh?" "Yeah, with Mom coming home and all, its like a dream come true." "Iím glad," He kissed my forehead. "You up for a walk?" "I think I can handle that." I smiled interlocking my fingers with his. We walked out the back door and into my yard. "So howís work?" "Itís work I guess. Nothing all that spectacular." He smiled with that million dollar smile and suddenly I wasnít as on edge like I was before. I couldnít help but smile back. "Howís your work? WhatĎs up next for you guys?" "Well, we leave in a few days for Arizona. Something Iím not particularly looking forward to." "Oh," I said slipping my free hand in my back pocket. "Me either." "You mean that?" He stopped and turned towards me. "Mean what?" I looked at him totally confused. "You donít want me to leave?" "Of course I donít!" "Really?" "Yeah Lance, I really like you a lot." "I like you a lot too and I donít want to loose you now." "Lance," I smiled walking closer brushing my fingertips over his beautiful face, "Youíll never loose me." His eyes glistened in the sunlight as he stood there in front of me. His lips slowly met mine and they parted so we could deepen our kiss. I massaged the back of his head with my fingers and his bottom lip danced with mine. "Come with me." He whispered against my mouth. "What did you say?" "Come with me to Arizona. Its only three days and I could have you back right after." "I.. I donít know what to say." "Say yes." He persisted with his smile. "Lance, I would nothing more than to just leave with you but my Mom just got back, She needs me." Lance bit his bottom lip and shifted. "I understand." I stood and watched his eyes stick to the ground as the wind blew the small pieces of hair that wasnít quite as gelled as the rest, I could feel his disappointment. "Iíll talk to her and see if she wouldnít mind staying with my sister for a few days." "Really!" "Yeah, Really!" "That would be so great!" He said pulling me into him. "Well we better get you back in there. Donít want them to think I kidnapped you." He wrapped his arms around my waist and we started to walk into the house. "So youíll call me when you get an answer right?" "Not a second later, I promise." "When do you think youíll know?" "Tonight, after this party." "Awesome, you want to do something later? Movie or something?" "Iíd love to." "Great, so Iíll see you later tonight." He kissed my cheek and ran off to his car.
Later That Night
"Ok so talk to me Jenna. Whatís going on in that head of yours?" "What do you mean?" I said putting the last plastic cup in the trash. "Youíve been walking around this house like a mad woman." "Itís that obvious huh?" I said dropping my tired body onto the sofa next to my mother. "Yes very so spill!" "Ok." I said combing my fingers through my hair. "Lance wants me to go with him to Arizona for a few days." "Thatís great! When do you leave?" "What?" "When do you leave?" "But what about you?" "Jenna you act like Iím paralyzed. Look, honey. I know this is hard for you, It is for me too. But you need to realize its just Breast Cancer. I can still use all my limbs, Iím not a baby. Yes, Iíve had some run ins with my medication but the worst of that is over. You need to let me live my live and live yours. Iím the Mom, not you." "Just Breast Cancer. Just Breast Cancer Mom think about what you just said!" "Jenna. You are nineteen years old. Please try to have fun while you still can." "What if something happens?" "I have Susan, and besides. Itís just a few days, What could happen?" I took a deep breath. "Are you absolutely sure?" My Mother kissed my forehead and smoothed my hair behind my ear. "I couldnít be more sure." "Thanks Mom." I said hugging her fragile frame. "Well Iím off to bed. Too much excitement for me in one day. Iíll see you in the morning." "Ok. I think Iím gonna catch a movie with Lance." "So is Lance a serious thing?" "I hope so." "Good. I like him" "Thanks for the stamp of approval. I needed it." "Well donít keep the boy waiting Jenna, call him." I sat there for a while just overjoyed. "Donít just sit there Jenna, GO!" With that I kissed her and ran for the phone.
At The Movies
"What Lies Beneath. Whatís up with you and the scary movies?" "I guess I just love to have you all over me." "Is that so?" "Well who wouldnít want a beautiful girl like you all over them? I find it a privilege." "So do you practice all of this flattery stuff in your spare time?" "Every day. In front of the mirror." I let out the laugh that was building inside of me the entire time I was with him at his serious face. His smiles just rubbed off on me, I was generally happy. I donít want to let that go, ever. We got comfortable in the back of the theatre and finally the lights went down. "Oh, I forgot to ask you." "Hmm?" He asked his eyes, on the movie screen. "Do they have any good scary movies in Arizona?" "What do you mean?" He asked looking in my eyes. "Well, I need to know if I plan on going there for a couple of days." "YOUR COMING?!" "Hey could you two be quite back there?!" A man two rows down asked. We both held back that laughter. "Sorry!" I whispered. Lance took my hands in his. "Your really coming?" "You think Iíd let you get away? Hell no!" "Oh baby Iím so happy." He hugged me tightly. "Me too. I just need to get the days off of work and its final." "You wonít regret it." "How could I?" "HEY!" The same guy yelled. "SORRY!" Lance yelled. At that point it was pure torture to hold back our laughter. "Come on!" I whispered taking his hand. I led him out of the theater. "Where are we going?" "Itís a surprise." "What about the movie?" "We can rent it when it comes out, I got a better idea." "Sounds like fun!" We got into his car and I told him to drive to my house. "Come on." I grabbed his hand and led him to my back yard. The moon was so bright it lit up the yard like a street light. I led him to the path in the woods. "Where does this lead to?" "Youíll see it when we get there." "Donít think any less of me but, Iím kind of, well.." "Whatís wrong?" "Well, this is a lot of woods and itís kinda dark and.." "Lance?" "Hmm?" "Are you scared?" "Noo! More like worried about our safety." "Donít worry," I laughed, "Its actually kind of adorable." "Damn, I was going for sexy." "Well that too." "Really?" "Why is it that you have such a hard time believing what I say?" "Its not that. Its just, me? Sexy?" "Lance. You are very sexy." I said in a most serious tone. He laughed and tightened his grip on my hand. His smile just captured me and I couldnít take my eyes off of him. "What? Do I have something on my face?" He asked bringing his hand to his cheek. "Oh. No! I just.." I couldnít think of anything to say. A smile crept over my face and I felt my cheeks redden. I walked closer and pressed my lips to the corner of his mouth. "..had to do that." He smiled shly. "No problem with that." "Come on sexy!" I laughed. I grabbed his hand and led him to the end of the path. The air was warm and small lights of green and yellow from the glow bugs drifted in the clearing. The moon sparkled in the dark water and the sound of smaller animals and bugs creaked though out the miles of grass. It was beautiful. I almost forgot what my reason for being there was until I felt Lances hand brush against my arm. "Itís beautiful." I smiled at lances touch and took his hand in mine. I brought him down to the dock and continued down it until we reached the edge. I sat, taking off my shoes so I could dangle my feet in the warm lake. Lance sat down next to me and did the same. "When I was a little girl I would come here every day after I finished my homework. It helped me get away from the so called pressures of my social life." Lance gave me a soft smile. "This seems like one of those places you can just let go." "Yeah, it is." I said as I rested my hands behind me to support myself and I looked around the night for something interesting to watch. My eyes found the same thing it always did when I came here. The old cabin across the lake what dimly lit and two figures danced on its porch. I leaned toward Lance before whispering "Those to have been together forever. If I wasnít happy, just watching them helped me get though whatever it was that was bothering me because I knew. I knew Iíd have that someday." I felt his eyes on me and I turned so that he could look into mine. I knew Iíd get that feeling when I did. The feeling I knew Iíd never get tired of. The one that supplied a cool tingly feeling though out my body. "What would you have?" He asked his eyes flickering with interest. "Love." Out of the corner of my eye I saw the two laughing. I leaned closer to him "Listen." I whispered as he leaned even closer to me. The sound of Eric Clapton and laughter echoed though the night as the old man slowly spun his wife around. It made you really believe in love to see two people as happy as they were. I turned my head towards where Lances used to be, but instead I found an outstretched hand. I followed the hand to the arm, and up to Lances smiling face. "Can I have this dance?" I slowly placed my hand in his and savored the feeling of his hold on it. "I thought youíd never ask." I smiled as I stood up. Slowly Lance embraced my waist with his hands as my own found their way to his shoulders. We started to sway to the music and I felt so comfortable in his arms. It was as if they were meant for my body, they were a perfect fit. "And then she asked me, Do you feel alright. And I said yes, you were wonderful tonight." Lance sang the song softly in my ear as I relished in the feeling of his body so close to mine and his warm breath on my ear. The music faded and we slowly stopped swaying but didnít let go. We both turned our attention t the kissing couple across the lake. "That looks like a good idea." Lance whispered. I smiled and gently pressed my lips against his.